Cupid's Broken Arrows

“ Some loves are like that. Most loves are like that, from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded life- boat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self- respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out- your friends, everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The life- boat is still sinking, and you know its going to take you down with it…. I think that’s why I’m sick of love.”-Karla in "Shantaram"
On this Valentine's day,I had plans of writing experiences of my own trysts with this omnipotent emotion.But all of them have been ridiculous and amateur affairs which blossomed poetically(Sometimes cinematically-Love at first sight nonsenses) and ended rather abruptly.There is one exception to this.My first love(It still remains my best).It was way back when I was still in trousers with a lollypop in my mouth and innocence in my heart.When I was studying in second standard.The affair was with Sandhya.I do not even remember her face.She sat near me in the class.(Something which made me the hero of the class.Even a 6 year old can be a hero if a beautiful girl is with him!).Everytime I entered the class,an amiable smile used to spring up in her or face.(Add Ilayaraja's Violin BGMs-You will get the idea).That smile made my day-Never mind that my teacher was rebuking me for not having done the homework.It was always me and her smile.Fate never permits love affairs for children.I got transferred to another school.On the last day in that school,I did not talk with her or even look at her.My last abiding memory of her wanted to be her smile and not her tears.So there ended my First Love Story when I was 6 years old.
All other affairs have been downright silly.In one case,I accepted her but she did not(She hates extroverts).In another case,she accepted me but I did not(I hate pseudo-intellectuals).In the last case,we both accepted each other but love was not magnanimous enough to accept our love.There rests my case.Recounting my love stories in detail will just spoil the reader's mood on a Valentine's day.
I have to tell about my friends whose love stories need to be viewed first-person to be believed.I know a friend who started writing poems after his Lady Love fell in love with another guy.I know a friend who always picks up the phone saying"Rekha!"(Imagine the surprise of his father when he called him up and his son answered"Hello Rekha!").I know a friend who keeps dumb melodies as caller tunes just because his girlfriend told him to do so.
And then I know a friend who gave up his home and a secure B.Sc degree in a reputed Arts and Science college in Hyderabad to stay back in Salem to pursue Engineering in Maha College Of Engineering(It is easy to start an engineering college nowadays!) just because "She studies in that college da!".He is now suffering in the below-par hostel with minimal facilities.Sometime back,He talked with me."She does not respect me even now in the college.For the past 4
years I have been trying to prove her my love but to no avail!".4 years-A period of time long enough when he could have proved the Theory of Relativity instead.While a young Tamilian sacrifices his life for the cause of Tamil Eelam,My friend in Salem has sacrificed his own career for a girl who does not have an iota of respect for him.
Is Valentine's day something to be celebrated?I cannot talk as an outright radical making fun of such an emotion.I cannot support either Ram Sene or my friend in Maha Engineering college.I am somewhere caught between them.I have fallen many a times in love but am yet to rise in Love.If Love is a religion,then am an agnostic.If love is a game,then am an amateur still learning the nuances.I never want to fall in love again as I have respect for that emotion.
So the only thing I do this Valentine's day will be:Get Up,call up my mother,wish her "Happy Valentine's day",go to sleep again thinking of that girl-"The faceless girl with just a smile"- and smile back in sleep.